Category Archives: MRI

#MRI why dont you reveal your punishment?

I was asked by one of My play-partners today a question that will come up time and again.

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“what is it with you Daddys/Doms/Disciplinarians that you never reveal what the punishment will be; why do you make me (us) wait? Don’t you know how antsy we bottoms get? The anxiety is killing us!”

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My answer was simple. “It is a power thing: you bottoms have the power to (learn to) control your behaviors and us D-types are in charge of the consequences for your behavior. As for making you wait and not know – that **is** the point. It is a punishment, aka a deterrent to unwanted behaviors. Therefore your dread and apprehension feelings are just another bonus to the general idea. If you don’t want to face the consequences, don’t deserve them in the first place #StrictMotivation

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Keep the fire alive. #food4thought on D/s (DD) relationships, a beginners’ guide

a little metaphor. back in the day when there was no radiators, people had to make fire as to cook and keep warm. So the question is: how do you make a warm fire?

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you start out slow. you ignite very small branches, and harbor that fire, until you put tiny splinters and logs onto it. as the fire spreads you add bigger logs and the flame rises and rises. However, though this is very impressive to watch, the flames are not what really emits the most warmth. and to be going for superlatives, you would have to throw in trees as some point to make it bigger and bigger. however that does again just put on a show, yet not emit the highest amount of warmth.

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if you want to go for warmth, you need the glowing get going, and usually after the bigger logs’ flames are gone, the glowing begins – the highest part of warmth being emitted (you can also at this point add coal to the mix, and the warmth will last the whole night long – but that just aside)

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if in the process of lighting the fire you add more and more logs, the logs will kill the fire and that leads to there being no glowing process. then all you can do is take the excess of logs out of the fire-place and start from scratch. so far an excursion on how to make a nice warm fire, the old fashioned way.

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now back to D/s reality and the D/s or DD inspired relationships

if you put out too many rules, it becomes constant work for the show, but will not provide the deep down feeling of glowing. if you want to glow, you need to add tasks at a certain pace, and tend to the fire at all times. if you overwhelm one another the risk is the fire will go out. you will end up frustrated and then it is back to square one

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D/s or DD relationships however are work. Hard work at that. Why, because like maintaining a fire, they are worth the effort. It is not the Dom being lazy about things, it is not all about the Dominant (Head of Household), it is also not all about the submissive (Taken in hand), it is all about the relationship. and yes, it is work for the dominant as well as the sub. the Dominant has to set up tasks and follow through. How can a Dominant expect fruition of the relationship in that the Dom leads and expects to be followed, if they fail in leading?

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It does take self discipline to follow through with assigned tasks. In the beginning of the fire burning the big logs, you could just sit back, and enjoy that bit of warmth but it is likely the glow will eventually go out. the log will break in the middle and the heat will not suffice to bite its way through the now too big wood chucks. Frustration!

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Redo from start. (insert coin to play). Fire follows its own rules. To keep a fire at a certain level, you need to become very responsible. Of course you can yell commands at the fire, but if you play the rules wrong, you will end up cussing at ashes. So instead of overwhelming one the other, and if you want it to be a bit easy on you, as the Dominant, you start with a few or just a single task and you follow it through. You expect your submissive to follow through with rules, well, time to lead the ship, no? By example, at that!

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When I try helping My submissive to grow I look at what needs be changed and usually it is very complex. If I told her: we need to adjust your sleeping, food, your drinking habits, your work out program, your education, your ethic etc etc  all at once …

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you see the wood logs pile up? there will be no fire, just frustration. And I will have the “pleasure” to micromanage and a whole big-load of work to do, and in the end we both could fail. The failure would also be Mine. So while I do see all these logs, I decide which log is the smallest, the one, that will catch on fire as a whole, as fast as possible… and I concentrate just on that one field. Just one task. Example: set a bed time and see to it that it is maintained. (Sending an adult person to bed at your own whim, and not theirs, does make for a great D/s experience btw. – and it can be done Vanilla friendly too. “your day was long, darling, why don’t you retire?” ) Once the sleeping/bed-time thing is settled, once their maybe defiance has turned into compliance or even obedience, the next log is added. This way at one point many big logs will be glowing – and the warmth emitted is palpable.

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So if you are experiencing the frustration, that after some show off  phase, the fire seems to get extinguished, or have re-occurring episodes of frustration because your submissive seems too overwhelmed all the time to do all those rules? Take a good look on the strategy as the leader. Are you maybe overwhelming your relationship, and are you really following through with implementing your rules?

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See, in a One leads the other relationship the responsibility for it working lies square on the leader’s shoulders, even if a lot of the workload itself may be with the follower. whether it fails or not is in both parties hands. Fire does want to burn, meaning the sub wants to submit and wood logs are enough there, but it will take the One making the fire, the Dominant to do the work, and initially it is very demanding on the Dominant as well.

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But the reward is for both, and in My opinion even the process of making and maintaining the fire is a reward. For both. Keep the fire alive. Love
(c)2011 -2018 #StrictMotivation ~ StrictMotivation@yahoo.com

if you are looking for an experienced disciplinarian, a motivator, a seasoned life coach, a pro dom, a mentor in the life style, a safe professional helping you to learn the “ropes of this craft”, especially in D/s relationships and LDR (long distance relationships) or need working punishments inspiration for you and yours? get in touch with #StrictMotivation ~ I am happy to help

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the vulnerability of the artist #food4thought

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I completely understand how it is tough for the writer, the artist, the poet, the actor etc. when you expose your art (regardless what your art is) the artist exposes their vulnerability, their very heart and soul. it feels much more unsafe, much more risky, to present that to (unsolicited, possibly unfounded) criticism. even more so, than it is to show off our body, at times. after all, the way we look, kind of is mostly “per chance”, but our creations are our craft, our works. thus, showing that “baby” off feels much more exposing. the involved emotions will be more intense, more profound, bad or good.

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thank you My artist friends and co-artists for not keeping your art hidden. for blogging, for writing, composing, for drawing, for sculpting, for acting, for building, for doodling, for coloring, for make-upping, for singing and performing, for photographing, digitally arting, for morphing and scrap booking, for videographing and for sharing: for artistically expressing.

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it is so easy to hide it and be scared, so much harder (and better) to expose it and share it… victory is with the brave #StrictMotivation #wejustgetbetter

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should the D enjoy punishing?

I am in My relationships (usually) the Disciplinarian. In any case being a life coach, a motivator I am using deterrents and punishments to stop unwanted behaviors and rewards , praise etc to enforce and encourage wanted behaviors. As such it comes with the territory that transgressions against the rules will find a response in turn, which for the sake of simplicity I will call punishment.

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I am empathic, which means more than just being able to imagine how someone else probably feels but I am also a Sadist, which means that I am able to enjoy someone else’s suffering. So here you have an emotional dilemma: On the one hand I can feel the pain and suffer with them, on the other I can enjoy their pain. My solution is quite simple; I don’t enjoy their needless (senseless) suffering; I only enjoy the suffering that has a good cause, ideally the one I am dishing out. All punishments I administer are consensual in nature or CNC based, depending on what them and Me had negotiated. I believe that only those who can freely say no, can actually say yes at all.

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So, My goal is to help people get better. I am NOT setting them up to fail, but actually to succeed. I give them rules and guidelines and keep pushing them to realize their (our) goals. If they leave the designed path or stray, they know there will be a consequence of punishment, which will be not to be enjoyed. It may help them to know that I am able to “enjoy” dishing it out, but they will know with no uncertainty, that I am displeased in their lack of investment. They will not have much time to enjoy “pleasing Me” by giving Me an “opportunity to punish.”

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Those under my wings get, what I refer to as maintenance punishments, which is a dose of discipline, just a taste of the punishment they would have coming if they did break rules. That maintenance, that preemptive strike, helps to get the itch out so they don’t need to act out in order to get the mixed feelings of some excitement mixed in to fear etc, that only punishment can actually provide. So that isn’t an issue either.

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you know that saying, *’this hurts Me more, than it hurts you’* which refers to the fact,  that a breakdown of the rules isn’t that enjoyable, or that the one taking care of someone else actually does feel quite hurt by having to seriously punish – and hurt – those in their care.

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I personally (thanks to My Sadist side) don’t have that much difficulty with that, plus: I use it actually for their own good within limits and I am always making sure, that I am not acting out of the wrong motivations. Because the punishments I give are, a service to them, more, than they are there for My pleasure (that includes, getting even, vengeance, anger etc – all feelings that must NOT play any role at all) So while yes, I am capable to very deeply enjoy that which I am dishing out, I do not do it to scratch My itches, and I do it with a clearly defined purpose, dare I say ethically.

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I know that those who are under My wings may feel a sort of extra motivation to endure My, – often described as harsh – punishments; partially in the light of “I am doing it as a testament of my will to submit; for Sir” etc, but I don’t see any troubles with that, because it is neither about what I (or they) may enjoy, nor about the punishment itself; it is about the result of helping them become the best, they can be.

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#StrictMotivation #wejustgetbetter

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a new cat: MRI

 

Strict Motivation Mentoring: another service by  #StrictMotivation

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Today I am introducing to this blog a new category, the “dear Abby” section, well in My case, the Dear Sir Meaner section. MRI stands for Mentor Replies Inquiries. It reflects one of My functions I have been fulfilling for years, that of Mentoring people asking Me for guidance with relationship or otherwise problems. As with any kind of questions and answer situation, the cases will be made anonymous, but if you feel like it could be meaning you too? learn from it the same!

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Strict Motivation offers help reaching your worthy life goals, through working, goal oriented real life coaching, Easily affordable. Strict Motivation is created to work Long Distance, from the convenience of your home and tailored to your specific needs, including as much discretion as you desire. Your gender identity or age are of no objection to Me. Strict Motivation is a holistic step by step approach. My Successrate with willing people tops 90%. no tricks, just get better with #StrictMotivation (c)StrictMotivation@yahoo.com

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