Category Archives: MRI

MRI: on probation at work

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ElisaMark: Let say … you found out i was on probation at work? What would the consequences be with you . ?
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#DaddyStrictMotivation: you would receive a scolding, a mouth soaping, and a paddling along with corner time and some behavioral modification things, to take down your cockiness
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ElisaMark: Wow that’s a lot for one punishment? But behavior modification things?
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#DaddyStrictMotivation: it is not a lot for one punishment. I am a disciplinarian and a life coach. I want to see change happen quicker not later. why? because I care more about people under My wing then they do about their life at the moment they misbehaved. so why doing things wimpily, if we can be effective. If you were on probation at work you need a bit of getting yourself in the mindset what an incredible privilege you have to be employed at all, and nothing is won from not teaching a culprit humility and the wrong of their ways and trying to avoid such misbehavior at all costs in the future. #StrictMotivation Behavior Modification aims to curb their entitlement: along the lines, if you do not carry yourself like a reasonable, responsible adult, you will not get to have the privileges that stage in life bring. #wejustgetbetter #StrictMotivation Alternative Life Training #SMalt 

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ElisaMark: Now i see your point.

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footnote: MRI stands for Mentor Replies Inquiries; aka My “dear-abby” section

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#food4though: this ain’t good!

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Q: Will everything be alright? I am afraid, because things don’t look good at this time.

A: Everything is going to be good, not just alright. Know, that we all come from the source of good. So good, that our name for the source fits into the word, good. “O, God” is an annagram to “good”, you see? so since we come from good and will return to good, all will be good in the end. Now you shake your head, and say: but, it is not good now? Well, then rejoyce. If it is not good now, it is not the end either! O, God Bless #StrictMotivation #wejustgetbetter

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MRI: depressed by a haircut

Q: What can I do: I am depressed because I need a haircut. My hair has grown beautifully long, but now it is so much more work daily so I will have it cut shorter. But that cut will be a loss too. See? I *am* trapped. Damned if I do, and damned if I don’t. 

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A:  Keep one half long, the other side shorter. just for a few days, so you can decide what you prefer… sadness over loss or happiness for new beginnings. #StrictMotivation #wejustgetbetter #stepbystep #discipline #structure #happy2help

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MRI on lifestyle burn-out

is it possible, that i am a vanilla again because i have no more kinky feelings and desires any longer. I feel empty, not willing to bottom, submit (dominate, top), nothing strikes my fancy… @doubtingkinky *name changed

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In My experience, everything lives on a spectrum, not in absolutes. do you remember when it was fresh and new and shiny? that feeling of brand-new extra super special … it does not usually last, thank Goodness, it doesn’t, it would be so exhausting! then there is settling, where the frenzied feeling is gone, and you might find yourself hungover, and then another shiny comes along, and maybe you get aflame and burn and crash and burn fast or you burn slowly, and then sometimes you burn out. you get blah, meh, jaded, and then you may find yourself coming back to the shiny, but less enthusiastic, less blindable, and that is called maturing.

like it is in vanilla relationships or life in general. the years have seasons and the spectrum on which your *insert role* resides may undergo waves and radical changes. and that is OK

love yourself anyway. if you need time to breathe or lick wounds, breathe and lick wounds. know that eventually, every winter passes, and spring will renew you. you may be different than the years before, in role or attitude but you stay true to the wonderful, uniquely you! #StrictMotivation #AlternativeLifeTraining #SMalt

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#StrictMotivation MRI on self-loathing

#StrictMotivation Mentor Replies Inquiries 

#MRI re: I hate myself = self-loathing

“I am very much on the edge of either losing my shit or giving up completely. So fed up with the crappy existence I’m supposed to call life, it has gotten to the point with my kids and my ex that I actually hate myself…” @anonymom986*

take deep breaths and go for a calm(ing) walk. think and feel about what you think and feel and keep the two separate. neither should your thoughts define your emotions nor your emotions define your thoughts. self-loathing is NO solution. it is only going to aggravate any situation. you are better than that, young lady! #StrictMotivation

@StrictMotivation “I feel like I’m failing them, the kids and I feel like I’m failing myself too because I know I can be stronger than this, I’m just not feeling strong right now”  @anonymom986*

exactly My point. the feeling of ‘not good enough’ in your case only binds the strength needed elsewhere. let’s assume you can be better for them and yourself. you need to focus on BEING the best you CAN be at this time, and that means not wasting time to cry over how you have failed them or could have done better. don’t fret over the past. it’s over. focus on that which you can actually DO to improve the now. and the first step is the important step. focus your energy on doing, not on loathing #StrictMotivation #wejustgetbetter #stepbystep #holistic #lifecoaching

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#MRI why dont you reveal your punishment?

I was asked by one of My play-partners today a question that will come up time and again.

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“what is it with you Daddys/Doms/Disciplinarians that you never reveal what the punishment will be; why do you make me (us) wait? Don’t you know how antsy we bottoms get? The anxiety is killing us!”

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My answer was simple. “It is a power thing: you bottoms have the power to (learn to) control your behaviors and us D-types are in charge of the consequences for your behavior. As for making you wait and not know – that **is** the point. It is a punishment, aka a deterrent to unwanted behaviors. Therefore your dread and apprehension feelings are just another bonus to the general idea. If you don’t want to face the consequences, don’t deserve them in the first place #StrictMotivation

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Keep the fire alive. #food4thought on D/s (DD) relationships, a beginners’ guide

a little metaphor. back in the day when there was no radiators, people had to make fire as to cook and keep warm. So the question is: how do you make a warm fire?

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you start out slow. you ignite very small branches, and harbor that fire, until you put tiny splinters and logs onto it. as the fire spreads you add bigger logs and the flame rises and rises. However, though this is very impressive to watch, the flames are not what really emits the most warmth. and to be going for superlatives, you would have to throw in trees as some point to make it bigger and bigger. however that does again just put on a show, yet not emit the highest amount of warmth.

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if you want to go for warmth, you need the glowing get going, and usually after the bigger logs’ flames are gone, the glowing begins – the highest part of warmth being emitted (you can also at this point add coal to the mix, and the warmth will last the whole night long – but that just aside)

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if in the process of lighting the fire you add more and more logs, the logs will kill the fire and that leads to there being no glowing process. then all you can do is take the excess of logs out of the fire-place and start from scratch. so far an excursion on how to make a nice warm fire, the old fashioned way.

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now back to D/s reality and the D/s or DD inspired relationships

if you put out too many rules, it becomes constant work for the show, but will not provide the deep down feeling of glowing. if you want to glow, you need to add tasks at a certain pace, and tend to the fire at all times. if you overwhelm one another the risk is the fire will go out. you will end up frustrated and then it is back to square one

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D/s or DD relationships however are work. Hard work at that. Why, because like maintaining a fire, they are worth the effort. It is not the Dom being lazy about things, it is not all about the Dominant (Head of Household), it is also not all about the submissive (Taken in hand), it is all about the relationship. and yes, it is work for the dominant as well as the sub. the Dominant has to set up tasks and follow through. How can a Dominant expect fruition of the relationship in that the Dom leads and expects to be followed, if they fail in leading?

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It does take self discipline to follow through with assigned tasks. In the beginning of the fire burning the big logs, you could just sit back, and enjoy that bit of warmth but it is likely the glow will eventually go out. the log will break in the middle and the heat will not suffice to bite its way through the now too big wood chucks. Frustration!

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Redo from start. (insert coin to play). Fire follows its own rules. To keep a fire at a certain level, you need to become very responsible. Of course you can yell commands at the fire, but if you play the rules wrong, you will end up cussing at ashes. So instead of overwhelming one the other, and if you want it to be a bit easy on you, as the Dominant, you start with a few or just a single task and you follow it through. You expect your submissive to follow through with rules, well, time to lead the ship, no? By example, at that!

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When I try helping My submissive to grow I look at what needs be changed and usually it is very complex. If I told her: we need to adjust your sleeping, food, your drinking habits, your work out program, your education, your ethic etc etc  all at once …

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you see the wood logs pile up? there will be no fire, just frustration. And I will have the “pleasure” to micromanage and a whole big-load of work to do, and in the end we both could fail. The failure would also be Mine. So while I do see all these logs, I decide which log is the smallest, the one, that will catch on fire as a whole, as fast as possible… and I concentrate just on that one field. Just one task. Example: set a bed time and see to it that it is maintained. (Sending an adult person to bed at your own whim, and not theirs, does make for a great D/s experience btw. – and it can be done Vanilla friendly too. “your day was long, darling, why don’t you retire?” ) Once the sleeping/bed-time thing is settled, once their maybe defiance has turned into compliance or even obedience, the next log is added. This way at one point many big logs will be glowing – and the warmth emitted is palpable.

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So if you are experiencing the frustration, that after some show off  phase, the fire seems to get extinguished, or have re-occurring episodes of frustration because your submissive seems too overwhelmed all the time to do all those rules? Take a good look on the strategy as the leader. Are you maybe overwhelming your relationship, and are you really following through with implementing your rules?

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See, in a One leads the other relationship the responsibility for it working lies square on the leader’s shoulders, even if a lot of the workload itself may be with the follower. whether it fails or not is in both parties hands. Fire does want to burn, meaning the sub wants to submit and wood logs are enough there, but it will take the One making the fire, the Dominant to do the work, and initially it is very demanding on the Dominant as well.

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But the reward is for both, and in My opinion even the process of making and maintaining the fire is a reward. For both. Keep the fire alive. Love
(c)2011 -2018 #StrictMotivation ~ StrictMotivation@yahoo.com

if you are looking for an experienced disciplinarian, a motivator, a seasoned life coach, a pro dom, a mentor in the life style, a safe professional helping you to learn the “ropes of this craft”, especially in D/s relationships and LDR (long distance relationships) or need working punishments inspiration for you and yours? get in touch with #StrictMotivation ~ I am happy to help

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