I am in My relationships (usually) the Disciplinarian. In any case being a life coach, a motivator I am using deterrents and punishments to stop unwanted behaviors and rewards , praise etc to enforce and encourage wanted behaviors. As such it comes with the territory that transgressions against the rules will find a response in turn, which for the sake of simplicity I will call punishment.
I am empathic, which means more than just being able to imagine how someone else probably feels but I am also a Sadist, which means that I am able to enjoy someone else’s suffering. So here you have an emotional dilemma: On the one hand I can feel the pain and suffer with them, on the other I can enjoy their pain. My solution is quite simple; I don’t enjoy their needless (senseless) suffering; I only enjoy the suffering that has a good cause, ideally the one I am dishing out. All punishments I administer are consensual in nature or CNC based, depending on what them and Me had negotiated. I believe that only those who can freely say no, can actually say yes at all.
So, My goal is to help people get better. I am NOT setting them up to fail, but actually to succeed. I give them rules and guidelines and keep pushing them to realize their (our) goals. If they leave the designed path or stray, they know there will be a consequence of punishment, which will be not to be enjoyed. It may help them to know that I am able to “enjoy” dishing it out, but they will know with no uncertainty, that I am displeased in their lack of investment. They will not have much time to enjoy “pleasing Me” by giving Me an “opportunity to punish.”
Those under my wings get, what I refer to as maintenance punishments, which is a dose of discipline, just a taste of the punishment they would have coming if they did break rules. That maintenance, that preemptive strike, helps to get the itch out so they don’t need to act out in order to get the mixed feelings of some excitement mixed in to fear etc, that only punishment can actually provide. So that isn’t an issue either.
you know that saying, *’this hurts Me more, than it hurts you’* which refers to the fact, that a breakdown of the rules isn’t that enjoyable, or that the one taking care of someone else actually does feel quite hurt by having to seriously punish – and hurt – those in their care.
I personally (thanks to My Sadist side) don’t have that much difficulty with that, plus: I use it actually for their own good within limits and I am always making sure, that I am not acting out of the wrong motivations. Because the punishments I give are, a service to them, more, than they are there for My pleasure (that includes, getting even, vengeance, anger etc – all feelings that must NOT play any role at all) So while yes, I am capable to very deeply enjoy that which I am dishing out, I do not do it to scratch My itches, and I do it with a clearly defined purpose, dare I say ethically.
I know that those who are under My wings may feel a sort of extra motivation to endure My, – often described as harsh – punishments; partially in the light of “I am doing it as a testament of my will to submit; for Sir” etc, but I don’t see any troubles with that, because it is neither about what I (or they) may enjoy, nor about the punishment itself; it is about the result of helping them become the best, they can be.