or: how to create an environment in a relationship so your partner becomes more of an asset to you than an ass!
Apart the fun pun, I am making this provocative sub-title on purpose to showcase, how there is a little bit of an attitude involved, when we see the flaws of our partner, as that: as flaws. There is some deep down unhappy within us, to be fair and so we are irritable, and then the things that make the partner’s character, that love would just find fun quirks become tripedations. Before we know it, it makes our own irritability turn into annoyence or upset and that is how a small candle can cause a house fire – but this can be prevented.
The key to reaching the goal of turning the partner into your asset, is what I call *wegotiation* That is non negating negotiation, a negotiation that affirmates the WE and US, over the me and you and you and me.
WEgotiation is the process of learning that neither of us should be trying to dictate or manipulate the other partner in a relationship. Instea dof being a pair/group of egoists trying to get the maximum benefit from the other with a minimalistic input attitude, we should remeber, that our partners and we are a family unit. We may not be equals in our roles (depending on the specifics of a relationship you have chosen for yourself) but we certainly should terat one another as teh precious parts a whole,, and take a step away from egoism and egomania. The I and you fade away in a relationship and the we of the unit should emerge from the ashes of an ego, that actually didnt just serve and service us perfectly – why else would we have engaged in a relationship if being on our own had been perfect?
Becoming a unit, a family, a partnership takes some getting usd to and it starts in the head and in the language we choose for our inner monologue. The negotiations you were used to do now dont cut it anymore. In a relationship we are forming a team, a united entity with a common purpose, and so the goal of a negotiation will be two fold:
For one, they serve the directive of “what can I do, to cover as much as possible of the needs of *my partner(s)*
For two: “how can improve the unit we are, What can I do to better our unit”
Through *wegotiations* there are no two parties in a clinch, there is a unified party that is using the energy provided to the units maximalized benefit, which in turn serves the partners forming the very unit
It may take a little bit of getting used to, to let go of the ego based self preservatory direct thinking, of “how will this benefit me, in teh first place” but keep in mind how negotiations from an egoistic point of viw do negate the big picture. How could in a unity of individuals someone believe, they can maximize their harvest without harming someone else in the same network. The unit is like a chain, defined by its weakest link. Through switching from egoism and maximizing of benefits for one to a more wholistic, inclusive and loving ebvironment a unit is formed, that will allow each individual to grow and prosper and the unit to strengthen against possible outside tripedations.
The path to happiness in relationships is holistic thinking and acting to the benefit of the unit you are part of. The tool to make your partner an asset is wegotiation #StrictMotivation
(c) 2016 StrictMotivation@yahoo.com
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