StrictMotivation for May 2016 The Traps of Sarcasm Pouting and Stubborn Defiance {1604

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Sarcasm, another service I offer. I have heard people state this infamous line as if sarcasm was some sort of saving grace. And yes sometimes sarcasm seems to be the better alternative to behaviors we find stupid or ridicolous. Making fun out of a bad situation actually is using humor as defense mechanism, and that can be a viable approach to maintain a piec eof your mental peace and sanity.

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When sarcasm becomes your second skin however, something is off. You should look a bit under the surface, why you are using a potentially intellectually hurtful attitude towards other people or situations. Why is it, that you feel so inferior, you have to misuse your intellect to complain and ridicoule instead of solving a problem? Sure in some situations the perpetuator of the problem is not interested in a solution, but you seem to have some emotional business thats unfinished here at play, else you wouldnt be hurting so much. So what is it that got you hurt first, defensive next, hurtful in the  process and  basically passive aggressive?

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Sometimes we are trapped in another form of passive aggression, that of stubborness. I am not talking the stubborness, that helps you grow, we call that kind of stubborness committment or dedication, sometimes devotion or even drivenness. But knowing that something is not working out well and yet insisting to do it your way all the time even if it means hurting or crippling yourself in teh process, actually is a kind of stubborness that is overtly  self harming in nature so a brilliant example of passive aggressive and auto-aggressive behaviors that are not becoming to you

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Further there are two even more prominent players in this field. For one it is the potty mouth. Look, everyone may swear once in a while, but when all you can do is  follow up one profanity with another, and rising that bar (or actually lowering your  sociability level to the gutter more and more – you can be certain that you are being passive aggressive, with some choice words. The potty mouth syndrome is part of the growing up process, when you have discovered the power of the shocking misuse of language, and this way got attention, one of the most valued currencies in human relations, or actually even the animal kingdom. So dropping your f bombs left and right and talking like a sailor are not signs of intelligence, not even independance, but acrtually showcase how you are overwhelmed and stuck in some passively aggressive toddler/child like mannerism

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Last not least we will address the fourth player which is defiance. It can be linked with any of the above or come by itself. Trying to willfully disobey rules, break rules and laws, entiteling yourself to define what you will abide by and what not without any regard for why these rules are in place. Playing unsafely, unruly, unlawfully, being the rebel – not the jasper – and playing msifit and outlaw yet inherently only hurting yourself – these are classic signs of passive aggression, that ultimately will lead to self harm. The mildest form of defiance is sulking and pouting. Instead of admitting how much something hurts and needs to be changed, we prefer to make complaints designed to keep things as they are. You prefer comfort and convenience to integrity and the challenge of change.

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No greater good is served by any of the passive aggressive behaviors It is a very temporary relief of feelingsof inferiority, helplessness, over-powerdness and an expression of frustration. Instead of choosing a behavior that will attract a diferent outcome, one that will suit you in the long run. Instea dof putting in teh energy to btter yourself and position yourself  set up for victoty, you keep feeding your own victimhood, and thus keep setting yourself up for more hurt and more failings. Being passively aggressive is therefore  one of the ways of a self fulfilling prophecy. Stemming from feelings of inferiority and  defenselessness, ultimately of weakness, you  choose to use unfit tools, that will dig you even deeper into the mud you despise.  Instead of taking chances  and the opportunity to grow past obstacles, finding solutions to problems and  overcoming obstacles as challenges that will help you build yourself up, you are choosing to let these circumstance jerk you around like a rag doll, making you feel even less worthy of growth, strength health and dignity.

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all kinds of passive aggression are setting you up for failure. Their only power of comfort is the old *told you so* of its self serving and self fulfilling prophecy. There is no inherently good, building up or creative power behind passive aggression. Apart from the odd slur, the only way to overcome it is letting go of it and the attitude behind it.

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You are not helpless. You are not worth-less. You do deserve your concerns to be heard and acknowledged. You deserve to get better. You matter.

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You need to start with yourself. Before you can expect others to hear you out and care you nee dto start caring about yourself and listening to your needs, over your wants. Usually the things you want are not that much good for you. What you need is to build yourself an environment that will facilitate growth and building you up. An environment that holds you accountable and to a standard and that facilitates change and growth so you can reach the next level in life. It is not the others job to get you better, but your own. You have to invest the time and energy, but the reward is a life, worth living, from a position of plenty.

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Instead of feeling rendered helpless, you could be empowered. Instead of cheap cope outs you could developping strategies to succeed and setting yourself up for achievement and satisfaction. Doesnt that sound much better than being sarcastic and feeling defiant?

Dont complain the darkness, light a candle, and become the change you want to see happening

reclaim your strength, empower yourself and reach your goals, because you do deserve no less.

#StrictMotivation

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