Have you ever loved someone?

Have you ever loved someone?
do you know that sweet feeling
when LOVE is nothing but healing
when it feels better than a kiss
their voice resonates with bliss?
you are walking on sunshine
always, all days on that cloud nine
they are on your mind: upon wake
all morning, noon… up until late
they walk sometimes into your dream
your heart will sing or shout and scream
you are merged in their very being
they have become your second skin
yet: have you ever loved someone
it is hard, it eats you up alive
it pushes you always to strive
for being better, still your best
your heart and mind still put to test
being apart makes you go nuts
you seem never close enough
the time spent together passes too fast
the blissful moments aren’t meant to last! 
they are always core of your care
even when on the verge of despair
when life’s challenges seem just not fair
and yet loving them you care to dare
still: have you ever loved someone?
what about those dreadful times
when it is about committed “crimes”
when there is bitter disagreement
or silent times in brooding spent?
what if there is falling short
what if there are forbidden thoughts
and actions beyond what should have been
or they falter as their heart does sink
what if the sexy is all gone
what if they break, cannot strong
what if they refuse your care and help
what if thy fuss and cuss, grumble and yelp
what if they act all blind and deaf
when you detest their very breath
when bad behaviors will not rest
now your love is put to test
love is not one dimensional
nor made for times of convenience
true love is unconditional
made to last through every test
#StrictMotivation #wejustgetbetter

you are not in this alone

when you became one of Mine
you got on board to become an ally
you got under My Protection
and though it does not offer perfection
its armor holds its promise all time

you are not in this alone, Mine!

we pledged alliance to our banner
we pledged that the shield be made of honor
we pledged that love will be our armor
we pledged for times of hardship –
not just times of glamour

you are not in this alone, Mine

and in these times where you feel tried
when you are tempted to get harmed
when you feel subdued by the ills this time
when you feel compelled in the “charms of crime”
this is nothing but a call to arms!

you are not in this alone, Mine

now that the wind got stormy and rough
now that abundance seems just not enough
now that the land is deranged by draught
now that battles seem lost, we once had fought
giving in to defeat we still shall not

Mine: you are not in this alone

you have unconditional love, second to none
we are SMart and wise to set the tone
let’s sing together, our affirmations’ song
you are not weak, nor defeat: for *we*’re strong

I Protect Mine: you are not in this alone



what a FeBruary

You know how facebook makes those little promo clips for you to share from pictures you posted in the past? well they composed a clip called what a february, and it is so brilliantly done, I had to share with you… #StrictMotivation



MEanerDITATION #food4thought

When you care for your boys and girls, it so happens from time to time, that they will report behaviors that you wish they would not have had to report. At least for Me, who is really enjoying to see people strive and achieve that is the case. I am not setting Mine up for failing, I am setting them up for succeeding in life. And so, when the going gets tough, and I hear about their latest failing, shortcoming, carelessness, or whatever else incident or issue there may be; it does actually not leave Me unphased.


I try to remember not to get wound up or upset. I remind Myself, that on the road to victory, losses will be inevitable, that relapses into unwanted behaviors are more likely than unlikely. I keep reminding Myself that whatever bad choice or decision they may have taken, it was not to deliberately hurt Me.


I do My forms of calming down, of zen breathing, the meditation of Sir Meaner. I pray, usually, asking the Lord for wisdom, and strength, and for patience in My moments of need. Breathe, I tell Myself. * “I am a pool on a mountain, always calm and deep, neither tempest nor draught, can truly upset Me. *


No, the meditation will not be the end of the issue. It will be the intermediary. It transitions My momentary feelings of hurt, disappointment, helplessness, dispairs or even fatigue into the absolute will to get this issue resolved. Regardless what they had done there would be an appropriate consequence dealt out. And they will probably not at all like any of it. They too will get their chance to pray, to meditate, and to find calm in the middle of a raging storm around them. But not, because I want to take vengeance, or to jerk them around. Not to make Me feel better or powerful. But for their own good. Because I truly care about them, and because I know how deeply hurt and disappointed they must feel, having fallen short of a good expectation.



Under The Protection of StrictMotivation

welcome sun anim

This House has a fireplace and the fire is being tended to. It is being given fuel, wood, coal, it is being kept alive. This fire is warm, sometimes blazing, sometimes meek, but always going, always glowing, always warming. There is sometimes so much heat, we need to open all windows and there is still almost too much as if to burst the house. And when there is so much heat, too much to use, when each and every last corner of the house is flooded by the heat, almost too much to take, we start building a new part to the house: another tower to the castle it has become. Another chamber for the hotel it is to some. another storage area, another living, guest or dining room, another bathroom, another terrace, another shed. This house is glowing and growing.


The door of the house is unlocked but not unguarded. It is not for everyone and anyone to come and step in and warm themselves and vandalize and go away. Yes, we have energy enough through that fireplace, but we have no resources to waste. This house has a few rules, and those rules have to be followed. They are very basic but also solid and binding. They are not negotiable. This house has so many different rooms, that almost everything goes. If you want to be part of this house and repaint your room to be purple with orange stripes, I will give you the brush, the ladder, and paint. If you don’t know how to I will get you help with learning. In this house, you have freedoms you may never have known, but that privilege and freedom come with a price tag, and that price tag is shown to you right at the door. In this House, there are a few ground rules that are not to be broken.


If you break them there are dire consequences and if you keep breaking them, you will be warned first, then asked to leave. If you don’t leave you will be removed. These ground rules are that solid. We don’t risk the House, that is roof and shelter, stronghold and castle and a safe place to be and grow to become the best you can be for many, just so the unruly few can have it all their way. If you choose this warmth and comfort of this House, you are also choosing and declaring you will abide by its ground rules


To be welcomed to this house of My unconditional love means that you will respect the core rules. You will reap abundance but you will not vandalize the House. You can make mistakes, and find redemption and forgiveness, but you will not make a mess of the rules and evade the consequences. As long as I care for you, you will reap an abundance of Love that is not conditional.


If your behavior repeatedly and consequentially goes against the ground rules of this house, I will put My priority to the House and wellbeing of all who abide by its rules and choose a very tough step. I will choose to not care about you. You will lose the key to the front door, and the pass to stay. It doesn’t mean I hate you or despise you, it just means I have no more warmth and fire to spare for you. Pack your belongings or find them on the street.


But as long as you can live by the basic rules, as long as you can show the due respect, as long as you can fess up and apologize, as long as you can pick up the tab where you left it and continue the worthy efforts to do get better, as long as you don’t sabotage the core Principles of the House of Tom, I will care for you and love you with a dedication, a fire second to none. You will know comfort and love like you didn’t dream possible. You will be allowed to express and explore yourself and life and excel in your endeavors. You will find forgiveness and redemption. You will find inspiration and emotion, care and devotion, beauty and duty, leadership and service at your heart desire and beyond.


In My House,
the sky is the limit, but the sky is infinite.
I will love you, and love you enough for the both of us,
come storm, come flood, come tempest come quake,
through the darkest nights, from early to late,
whether the sun shines and brings drought
you shall not ever thirst,
whether freezing cold reigns
you shall not ever suffer cold,
whether plight strikes
you shall not ever fall to hunger,
whether the enemy closes in from all ends and directions
and any friend has deserted you
you shall not feel abandon’,

for My LOVE is your armor
and My Honor is your shield

and that is what it means
to be under My Wings
to be under Protection
of StrictMotivation

(c) 2016 StrictMotivation@yahoo.com


#StrictMotivation MRI on self-loathing

#StrictMotivation Mentor Replies Inquiries 

#MRI re: I hate myself = self-loathing

“I am very much on the edge of either losing my shit or giving up completely. So fed up with the crappy existence I’m supposed to call life, it has gotten to the point with my kids and my ex that I actually hate myself…” @anonymom986*

take deep breaths and go for a calm(ing) walk. think and feel about what you think and feel and keep the two separate. neither should your thoughts define your emotions nor your emotions define your thoughts. self-loathing is NO solution. it is only going to aggravate any situation. you are better than that, young lady! #StrictMotivation

@StrictMotivation “I feel like I’m failing them, the kids and I feel like I’m failing myself too because I know I can be stronger than this, I’m just not feeling strong right now”  @anonymom986*

exactly My point. the feeling of ‘not good enough’ in your case only binds the strength needed elsewhere. let’s assume you can be better for them and yourself. you need to focus on BEING the best you CAN be at this time, and that means not wasting time to cry over how you have failed them or could have done better. don’t fret over the past. it’s over. focus on that which you can actually DO to improve the now. and the first step is the important step. focus your energy on doing, not on loathing #StrictMotivation #wejustgetbetter #stepbystep #holistic #lifecoaching

*}{name: changed/anonymized


Boys to Men #StrictMotivation


No, this is not a post about a boy group, but yes it is a post about a group of boys.

Boys to Men, a Man to men talk by #StrictMotivation

I am talking about the importance of talking Man to men. There is an image out there, that boys will be boys, or how being a bad boy is something to aspire for. The ‘boys will be boys’ statement is a resign, to the fact that boys often act immature compared to their female peers of the same age. It has some to do with brain development but quite a lot of it is not physiology. It is in fact socialization and behavioral issues. Similar, but far worse in its effects is the insinuation, that bad boys score first, or are somehow something to aspire for.

I have never bought into these theories. I have always aspired to become a Man. I have been socialized in a society that very much resembled the values of the free world’s 1950s in many ways though I have been growing up in the 1970s  growing up behind the iron curtain, where the anti-authoritarian emancipation of the mid to late 1960s never happened, and where “spoiling a child” by letting them get away with bad behaviors were quite the exception and heavily frowned upon.


Part of that norm was that discipline is actually something natural, and that elders will be respected. That when you misbehave you have punishment coming you will detest, thus making the effort to get your act together rather sooner than later. What you learned as a boy, was that anyone, virtually anyone (regardless of social rank or gender identity) who was in any sort of authority position could and would discipline you, if you misbehaved according to their standards.

A side effect of that was, that “boys will be boys” was not at all a valid excuse, neither uttered by overwhelmed parents, let alone by the boyish culprits! What is more, you also aspired to become – as soon as possible – a respectable part of society, and to not be a boy but in fact become a young man. Becoming a real, aka grown Man of character was the goal: becoming a Good Man was what we boys aspired for.


While bad boys may have some appeal from a rebellious point of view, they had no appeal to us boys. we did not aspire to become antisocial outlaws, because we had learned how rebellion and defiance are met with unwavering, corrective, firm discipline. We had quite nicely embraced, that even though it may have sucked at the time, there was no viable alternative to being a good man. Because by being a good man you would have the chance finding yourself a fine woman, and get her parents blessings to start your own family. And so the idea of “bad boys score first” was no assumption we made.

Especially now, when we can see where male driven egocentric chauvinism has lead society, how misogyny and oppression still come blowing up into any oppressors face, where now those very “rebels” become the out-lawed, we should understand, as guys, that the #metoo movement is a chance for us, too. #metoo! means that I too want to be freed from an ideology dictate, that mistreating women, or other people in exploitable positions was somehow OK, cool or even a way to go.

I too, want to be freed from a dictate, that boys should grow into bad boys, meaning becoming despicable members of society! No, there is literally no need for bad people in the world.  The world is complex and difficult and hard enough without a group of cowards hiding behind some assumed privilege created by their wiener like genitalia, or other such superficial traits, including a role in a life-style you assume, come on!

That, which is true for the macro-cosmic world and society as a whole equally is true for the micro-cosmos called BDSM community, and our subculture or the life-style. We are still the same human kind on the same planet. And just because you were given physical advantage does not mean you are destined to misuse it to cause anguish, undue harm and disaster! Men have been created as more aggressive or physically stronger in order to protect and provide, not to mistreat and abuse.  Being a good Man was and is the goal still. Being a good, safe and ethical Dominant is what separates Good Men from bad boys.

Bad boys, bad boys, what you gonna do, what you gonna do when they come for you!

People who know Me, know that I am quite tolerant and accept boys, girls and any gender in between or outside the CIS norm, because people are people. I don’t condemn people by the color of their skin, form of their sex, or preference of partners. I base My judgment on their behavior and their character.


I am a caretaker, both as a disciplinarian as well as a life coach, and I take boys under My wing too. And if someone wants to be or stay a boy, I am just as fine with it, as I am with another person wanting to be or stay a girl.


But if you want to be a bad boy, you should get ready for a bumpy ride. Because I will not be having that level of dysfunction under My wings. Being a bad boy is unwanted bad behavior, and I will oppose it vehemently. I will punish bad boy ways in ways the bad boy will detest. There is nothing sexy about being a misbehaved, misguided male person. And there is no valid excuse that will fly. Bad boys get severely punished in very unpleasant, un-sexy ways.

I am equal opportunity and very fair like that. I treat bad boys as I would bad girls. If you want to be a boy, and do boyish things, as long as you are aspiring to being a good boy, an actually well behaved young man, we will get along just fine. But cross the line to bad boying and you will wish you had never had that inclination!

Because I believe in old school values. #StrictMotivation

(c)2018 StrictMotivation@yahoo.com



Sir MEaner, © 2003-2018 StrictMotivation@yahoo.com

%d bloggers like this: